Love Epistle Writer for Hire. Valentine's Day Special (The ether)
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Right. So, St. Valentine is being roused from his revered martyred status to gawk at certain amorous shenanigans by tiddly doo-s high on their libidinous wahoo juices. We are romantic, we say. We also say a lot of other balderdash, but let's not go there.
Instead, let's go here:
How bright are you to catch a luminescent idea when you see one? Because you are just about to get privy to the most light-hearted idea ever to saunter into Craigslist-dom. The deal is this: you have a SO/neighbour/zombie you want to profess your love to, but don't know how. Let me jump in and help you. I can write you a song, a ditty, a doggerel (or even an essay with footnotes and 57 references) that you can pass off as the effluvium of your creative labours and woo and wow the love of your life. This is not a pro bono affair. You will pay me. Simple, yes?
So, write. We can talk at breadth and decide on the proceedings to follow that shall seemingly emanate from your heart. If the love of your life is a cardiologist, we can tamper the proceedings to make it seem like the source of origin is your pancreas. I am that good.
So: Hire me. I'll write your un-original love-thing. St. Valentine demands a rocking show. He had a thing for epilepsies too. Some hardcore saint, he was.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers